All I can hope for.

It's true happiness that I feel right now. I feel like I have actual friends, an actual life, and actual sense of responsibility. I can do what I want when I need to and I have the ability to be myself. I've let go of my unrealistic dream of a guy for the winter because that's not really what I want at all; I'm waiting for the real thing. So when that comes along, great. Until then, I'm good just being independent.
I've been going to the gym for a week now and I feel so much better about myself. I had a crappy band test today which made last night horrible and dreadful. I did well and today was great afterwards. I need to step it up, though. I need to stop being so lethargic and be the best I can be. I don't want to be left behind and I won't be. I work just as hard as the next person and still make time for me. That's all we can really hope to accomplish in these high school years, right?
Black Friday is next week and I am so excited. I love Thanksgiving, I love the traditional sleepover and then the next morning waking up at 4 in the morning shopping until we run out of money. The best thing about it all is the money goes towards other people; the people we love. It's a day of christmas shopping for christmas! Isn't it crazy? Christmas is already here. Soon enough I'll be a high school graduate. It's all so surreal but I'm really enjoying the journey.
Life is so up and down but right now I'm making sure I move gracefully through each of the spectrums. I've been thinking a lot of the past lately but maybe we need to come to terms with the past in order to move on for the future. I feel like I am finally gaining some perspective on myself and how I react to different things. I think so often now and I am often lost in my own thoughts. I can't say I mind it, though.
"Hearts aren't practical until they are made unbreakable." I don't know if hearts were meant to be emotionally practical. The beauty of life is feeling such strong emotions. Without the bad ones they wouldn't make the good ones so rewarding.