Disappointment

I've never felt so vulnerable before. He seemed to have everything at first but after I got to know him I was sadly mistaken. I always have that happen. I have so much faith in the idea of a person but once the true personality shines through they aren't what I expected; generally players, fake, sweet talkers. I think it's time someone came around that cared about me as much as I do about them. Maybe I care too much. People that play the dating game seem to get lucky, but I don't like to play games with people's emotions. Never good enough, "hot" enough, funny enough, clingy enough, distant enough, it seems like everyone is expecting perfection. I'm not perfect, never will be, and don't pretend to be. I can promise you my trust, honesty, and love, though. All you need is love, right? It's scary how much I wish I had someone like that, someone that loves me for me. I'm not desperate, more like hopeful. I don't even know why I'm hopeful. Waiting is so tiring and I get so impatient because I give so much and get practically nothing in return from people emotionally. It's exhausting. It's so painful to my ego, heart, and soul. All I want is honesty. Can I just get a little of that, please? Not brutal honesty, not the stuff that hurts you to the core, just honesty with how to win you over. Because I know that I can make someone happy. Sometimes that's all you need. I need someone to be there when I'm scared with something I cannot control. Like, thunderstorms. The rain is great, but the loud thunder scares me. Maybe having someone there to sit next to me listening to the rain hit the ground and sitting in silence knowing it is not awkward is all I truly want. Is he out there?